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Asia on my Mind
with HIRAN BALASURIYA in Fuxin, China
Monday, February 18, 2008
Is anything happening in Burma that we should care about?
HB: Actually, yes. Burmese military officials are transporting hundreds of zoo
animals from Rangoon to the nation's unpronounceable new capital, Naypyidaw. Or
Nappyjaw. Or Nadgipaw. Or whatever.
This follows the recent mass transportation of ALL government departments from
the old capital to the new one. Wild animals are an integral part to any modern city,
but especially to one built by the Burmese government.
Unfortunately, zookeepers have reported that the move has not been a smooth
one, several animals becoming upset after being separated from their friends. The
same goes for the zoo creatures.
Any other good animal stories in the news?
HB: Of course. Not to be outdone by China's fluorescent swine or Japan's blue
roses, a South Korean company has just accepted its first order ever to clone a pet
dog. An American woman is paying $150,000 to clone her (dead) pitbull terrier. Her
name if Bernann McKunney. The woman, not the dog. The dog is called Booger.
RNL Bio is able to perform this feat by using tissue that was taken from the dog's
ear before it passed on to doggy heaven. Medical reports do not stipulate what the
tissue was doing there in the first place (or if it had any Boogers remnants in it).
This marks the first time an animal has been cloned for commercial sale. The
company claims that there will be a large market for the service in Western
countries – especially for pet owners called Bernann McKunney with dogs called
Booger.
HB: Funnily enough, in Saudi Arabia, appeals have been made to King Abdullah to
stop the execution of a woman convicted of witchcraft. The illiterate Fawza Falih
was apprehended by the fun-loving Religious Police three years ago, and was
allegedly assaulted and forced to fingerprint a confession that she couldn't read.
Human Rights Watch, in a particularly stern letter to the King, said that witchcraft is
an undefined crime, not at all like it used to be back in the day. Besides, the
charges were based on the written statements of witnesses, one of whom claimed
that she had made him impotent.
But it’s not all bad news. The courts have argued that the death sentence would be
in the public interest. Whereas impotence, obviously, wouldn’t really be in anyone's
interest.
HB: The International Olympic Committee has granted an unprecedented
concession to participating athletes by allowing them to write blogs on the internet.
This new freedom comes with strict rules regarding content, of course. Athletes are
restricted from displaying about confidential information about other individuals (like
how many grams of monkey hormones they are shooting up in their Village dorms).
And the IOC has stated that the blogs "should be dignified and in good taste,”
which would be a first for a blog.
HB: In order to ensure a completely safe tournament, ghosts, monsters and other
supernatural entities have been banned in audio or video content.
The authorities expect producers to track down all horror materials and report them
within three weeks. Any kind of "supernatural storytelling for the sole purpose of
seeking terror and horror" has been banned forthwith. Officials are concerned
about the effect of such publications on society, particularly adolescents.
HB: Who’s John Prescott?
© lizardmagazine.com, 2008
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with HIRAN BALASURIYA in Fuxin, China
Monday, February 18, 2008
Is anything happening in Burma that we should care about?
HB: Actually, yes. Burmese military officials are transporting hundreds of zoo
animals from Rangoon to the nation's unpronounceable new capital, Naypyidaw. Or
Nappyjaw. Or Nadgipaw. Or whatever.
This follows the recent mass transportation of ALL government departments from
the old capital to the new one. Wild animals are an integral part to any modern city,
but especially to one built by the Burmese government.
Unfortunately, zookeepers have reported that the move has not been a smooth
one, several animals becoming upset after being separated from their friends. The
same goes for the zoo creatures.
Any other good animal stories in the news?
HB: Of course. Not to be outdone by China's fluorescent swine or Japan's blue
roses, a South Korean company has just accepted its first order ever to clone a pet
dog. An American woman is paying $150,000 to clone her (dead) pitbull terrier. Her
name if Bernann McKunney. The woman, not the dog. The dog is called Booger.
RNL Bio is able to perform this feat by using tissue that was taken from the dog's
ear before it passed on to doggy heaven. Medical reports do not stipulate what the
tissue was doing there in the first place (or if it had any Boogers remnants in it).
This marks the first time an animal has been cloned for commercial sale. The
company claims that there will be a large market for the service in Western
countries – especially for pet owners called Bernann McKunney with dogs called
Booger.
- We’ve been hearing some worrying reports about witch-trials. What’s the
deal?
HB: Funnily enough, in Saudi Arabia, appeals have been made to King Abdullah to
stop the execution of a woman convicted of witchcraft. The illiterate Fawza Falih
was apprehended by the fun-loving Religious Police three years ago, and was
allegedly assaulted and forced to fingerprint a confession that she couldn't read.
Human Rights Watch, in a particularly stern letter to the King, said that witchcraft is
an undefined crime, not at all like it used to be back in the day. Besides, the
charges were based on the written statements of witnesses, one of whom claimed
that she had made him impotent.
But it’s not all bad news. The courts have argued that the death sentence would be
in the public interest. Whereas impotence, obviously, wouldn’t really be in anyone's
interest.
- What news on the Olympic circuit?
HB: The International Olympic Committee has granted an unprecedented
concession to participating athletes by allowing them to write blogs on the internet.
This new freedom comes with strict rules regarding content, of course. Athletes are
restricted from displaying about confidential information about other individuals (like
how many grams of monkey hormones they are shooting up in their Village dorms).
And the IOC has stated that the blogs "should be dignified and in good taste,”
which would be a first for a blog.
- What’s all this about the Chinese Olympic Committee getting spooked?
HB: In order to ensure a completely safe tournament, ghosts, monsters and other
supernatural entities have been banned in audio or video content.
The authorities expect producers to track down all horror materials and report them
within three weeks. Any kind of "supernatural storytelling for the sole purpose of
seeking terror and horror" has been banned forthwith. Officials are concerned
about the effect of such publications on society, particularly adolescents.
- Finally, John Prescott said this week that he “always discusses human
rights with the Chinese”. Was he talking about the Chinese government or
Chinese takeaways?
HB: Who’s John Prescott?
© lizardmagazine.com, 2008
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